She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Houston, we have a blender
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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