no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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