Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish i was in the wii world.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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