im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
