maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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