I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize