He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She said her name was "party"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
