at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
