The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
