i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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