Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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