You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
