Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
