somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize