Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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