How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
