My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
