South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
