Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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