and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
