OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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