I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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