but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
