my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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