you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
