i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Bring me that man meat
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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