Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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