sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
