I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Someone shit on the floor
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
