dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
