Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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