who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
