just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
