just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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