just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize