This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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