I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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