My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize