I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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