Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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