She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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