are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
