could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize