Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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