i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
