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Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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