he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
