Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
