I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize