Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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