You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
