worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
