a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
