Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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