Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
